Ruby's Angel Week

My Ruby Jane wristband - It reminds me to keep perspective and to give Mary lots of hugs and kisses

For those who have been keeping up on this blog since the start, you know that I started it for two reasons. One; so everyone back in California could keep up on our goings-on and - Two; I was so touched by a blog that Ani Taylor kept during her daughter Ruby Jane's illness, she has such beautiful thoughts, that I was inspired to put myself out there, too.

This week is Ruby's "Angel Week." She went to heaven when she was seven months and one week old and on Mary's six-month birthday. In honor of her "Angel Week" her mom is having a special "to-do" list each day.

Sunday was Day 1: "Talk to About Being an Organ Donor." - It's a tough conversation to have with some people and Brian and I have even discussed how, our family will give the gift of life if the unthinkable ever happens...(God forbid, please!)

Yesterday was Day 2: "Family Day" - And do something special to express your love and appreciation for your family. I personally am a day late and left a weepy message for Brian today.

Today is Day 3: "Share Ruby's Story" - This beautiful video was made at the beginning of the year about Ruby's story - It really is nice and I hope you take the time to watch it.

Dear Mary,

My, my you are a little character. I just love seeing your personality emerge. Talking running, dancing playing - eating anything but veggies (I hide them in your food sometimes)You and Daddy now love to go to Monkey Joe's. It's been a super-hot summer, so he has had to think of creative ways to keep cool. 

Every Tuesday during summer we go to the Main Beach for a concert and picnic dinner. We meet Marmee and Grampy, and some of their friends there. You spin and stomp, and eat a ton of fruit! It's going to be sad when the concerts are done at the end of this month!

Aunt Cortney, Uncle Ken, Meg and Zoe were in town - Cortney was trying soooo hard to be your buddy all week, you were resistant at first, but then you loved showing her your books and playing with her. Above is a picture of the night before Cortney and Ken went back home. You and Cortney were rough-housing when Marmee was trying to go to bed, you were so wound up, you didn't go to bed until 10:30p. You also had a lot of fun playing with Meg and Zoe. You LOVE being around big girls. When you spend the day with Marmee on Thursday, she let you go up in their room to wake them up. You climbed up on their beds and played with their stuffed animals and looked at all of Zoe's pretty things. It was fun to see how they acted toward you - they were really great with you. One night, you offered Meg a pretzel that you had been holding in your hand for a while. She put it in her mouth and said, "Oh, that's all spitty, but you're my cousin, so okay"- It really warmed my heart that Meg ate your soggy pretzel :)

This is a day at Main Beach, I was playing in the sand with you and then you just walked straight out into the water in your clothes. You and Daddy are both water babies, I joke that you inherited his gills. You have been a little fuss-monster lately. I couldn't tell why, and then I see that you have a ton of new teeth in your mouth. Poor baby, you are in pain! But I'm happy the teeth are coming in, a lot of other little ones your age have a lot more teeth thank you do, and we have a lot of foods to try. Chew! Chew!

Just a quick update for you today, You and I are off to do errands right now.

I love you, Mary.

Love, Mommy

Me Time

I've learned to shift my thinking to label more of my day as "Me Time". Simple things that I looked at previously as a "HAVE to do" I see now as a "GET to do" - Simple things like making my grocery list. I love cooking. I love planning meals and shopping for the week. Before Mary I used to spend Sundays making some big meals that we would eat during the week; Enchiladas, Chili, Lasagna, MMmmmm.

Last week a co-worker learned that Brian stays home with Mary, "So is dinner ready when you get home?" Uhhhhh, no, but only because I want to do the cooking. He would gladly alternate grilling burgers and brats every night of the week :) and there are days when I come home he has done a lot of prep-work for that night's dinner - That makes cooking even more fun because I feel like I'm on a cooking show with all the ingredients prepped in little bowls and all I have to do is toss them in the skillet.

I keep all of my recipes in a binder, I like to tear out pages from a magazine and put them in clear sleeves in my binder. Each week, I flip through the binder, look for inspiration and make up my grocery list (you can see my grocery list is always on an envelope, so then I put the coupons for that day's trip to the store in the envelope.) Some weeks, I hand Brian the binder to see if there is anything that inspires his tastebuds.

Saturday when Mary took a 2.5 hour nap - I sat down with my recipe binder, my new "Everyday Food" and "Food Network Magazine". I was giddy. Ah! All the food, the creations, the fun things to EAT. Now if I only had more time to update my Working Mommy Recipe blog....too many blogs, too little time.

People are still good.

A bad thing happen this week in Colorado. I drove into work last Friday morning listening to my regular news program and they kept commenting on how President Obama and Mitt Romney were going to have to comment on the shootings in Colorado..."What shootings in Colorado?" Once I got to work, I read about it online.

It's just sick.


As a parent you worry so much about EVERYTHING, I can imagine the mother of the 18 year old girl who was killed was happy that her teenager was going to a movie that night rather than out to some party or cruising around town with friends...and then this.   

It's hard to hear about this and other awful things in the news - yet through it all, motherhood taught me to believe that there is inherent good in people much more than bad. (We just hear about the bad more often.) I believe this because as I see Mary grow and her personality come out, she never approaches anyone new in a negative way. She may be a little shy at first, but then will smile and wave and even put on a little show. She was born good and loving and happy - I think one of my top jobs as a "Mom" is to keep that as pure as possible.

There is even proof of human good in this sad Colorado story from last week - three of the men who died, were shot because they threw themselves in front of their girlfriends to shield them from the gunfire. Talk about Superheros.

I'm blatantly copying this prayer from another blog I follow - I thought it summed up my feelings very well.

God grant me eyes to embrace the light, wisdom to learn from the dark, the ability to be present and active in my child's life to educate her on the full spectrum of who she shares this world with, good and bad.  May she learn these lessons slowly and over time.  Help me keep her a child for as long as I can.  Help me navigate these waters with faith.  Help us live every day of our lives.

And, no, I'm not a Bible-Beating member of the God Squad (as Brian would say)...but, yes, I do pray.

Mental Snapshot

I had to write a quick entry because last night I had a moment with Mary I don't ever want to forget. I can't bring the video camera or camera in while I'm putting her to sleep, so this is the next best thing.

It was Mary's bedtime, we went up to rock, watch a little Elmo episode on my Kindle, read some books and sing before bedtime. We looked through the book with pictures of babies in it, and I sang "Aloha 'Oe" to her (I make up the words, but she loves it because that song is in Lilo and Stitch) and recited "On the Night You Were Born". That's usually when I ask if she wants to go tuck Bunny into bed to go night-night.

We walked over to the crib, Mary tossed in her Lovie (little blanket with satin edges) and reached for the crib. I put her down on her tummy and she picked up her lovie, covered up Elmo and covered up Bunny. Gave them a pat-pat and snuggled on top of them. I stayed and rubbed her back and I could see she had a smile on her face. I usually leave at this point, and Mary will stand up and cry for a minute. But tonight I stayed, rubbed her back and watched her fall asleep - she kept that little smile on her face the whole time.

As a working mom, I worry that I'm doing enough to keep her happy - seeing this, I was so reassured that my daughter is a happy little girl. She slept soundly all night...and so did I.

Recent Pics - July 2012

It has been a HOT summer so far with no real break in sight...makes me look forward to September.

Mary Coloring or the first time - April 2012

Mary's Favorite Elmo PJs from Aunt Cort

Playing "Step-Step" on the Tupperware lids

Mother's Day at my Parent's House - May 2012

Mary was watering the flowers with her sippy cup

Keem!

Mary at cousin Nancy's Bat Mitzpah - May 2012

Brian and Mary reading

Mary and Grampy at the Memorial Day Parade

Keeping cool while Daddy waters

The house with a green lawn - this is pre-drought

The Jeffries keeping cool

Mary's toys going for a ride

Mary sleeping and hugging her favorite bunny

 

Mary and Elmo watching....Elmo



Mary's wagon decorated for the 4th of July Parade - 7/1/12



Mary and Daddy at the 4th of July Parade



Mary up front at the parade - she had a blast!

Mary and her little friends after the parade

Yankee Doodle Sweetheart - 7/1/12

Dear Mary,

Oh my goodness you are such a big girl, yet you are still my little nut. You are a little small for your age, sometimes I think people are surprised to see such a tiny person walking, running and talking. Right now you are 16.5 months, but your feet are about the size of a 9-12 month old, so finding shoes with a hard sole so you can run around has proven a challenge. Marmee constantly comments that she has no idea how you can stand on those tiny little piggies.

I often call you my little "nut", one because you crack me up. But it started because you were sooooo tiny when you were born, you were my little peanut. Then as your sweet personality emerged you became my little butternut. Either way, you'll always be my Nut.

I took two days off from work last week, so I got to see you in action at your music class. You go with Daddy every Thursday morning and I can see how much you enjoy it. I hear the part you love the most is at the end when Miss Robin spreads out a blanket and all of the kids get to blow out the lights. You have become such a teacher's pet that sometimes you go and sit on Miss Robin's lap during class. You and Daddy come home singing songs and telling me stories from class, I was so excited to finally go and see you in this setting.

Tuesdays is Swim class. You started swimming with Daddy when you were 9 months old. At our old house in California I used to take you in the bath tub with me and you would play with all the little duckies. I would hold you and "swim" you to the other end of the tub, your little legs doing the frog-kick behind you. You inherited your instinctual swim skills from your Daddy. I love the water, but you and he definitely were born with gills.

Wednesdays you spend with Marmee and you go to Storytime at the Public Library. I hear there is a nice lady there who tells stories with puppets or stuffed animals and she is very animated. I have been reading to you since you were a month old. That's when Marmee and Grampy gave you the American Girl Kanani and her books. I would read those books to you as you nursed - We have always had books be a part of your day and "book" was one of your first words. I just bought you a comfy chair over the weekend so you could have a place to sit with your books. You love it and say "Sit! Sit!" and climb up in it.

You have too many new words for me to summarize here, and the words you do say are getting more and more clear. I think my favorite is "Keem" which means you want some ice cream...you and daddy are quite the fan of ice cream. You are also getting around very easily and it's amazing how you can run, jump, dance and climb on EVERYTHING. You are so busy.
I started a new job this week. I'm really excited for it, it is more money for our family and it is more of what I want to do. It is with an ad agency so I will get to be more a part of the creative process. I have missed that so much the last three years. I feel this job is a perfect storm, culmination of my experience. As if every job I have ever had has all led to this. It is a big exhale. Someday you will understand :) For now all you need to know is that we may not be rolling in dough and planning trips to Hawaii every year, but you will still go to music and swim class...and someday ballet and karate.

I love you sweet girl.
Love, Mom