Harvest Gold

Fall color is in full swing and almost over. When I drive to work the sun is rising over dried cornfields, the leaves are bright orange and there is a glisten on everything from the frost - I realize this is where the color Harvest Gold came from. Not a great color for kitchen appliances - but nice when found in nature.

I'm finding that our house is looking good in all seasons. The tree out front was bright yellow last week - this week it is bare and the maples in the back are starting to turn. It makes me excited to think of how nice it will look in Christmas lights :) Brian already has plans.

Mary had a great first Halloween. She was a flower (a sweet Leilani) - I was really surprised that she kept the costume on and didn't pull at the petals, I guess she likes dress up. 

Brian had the house all decked out with candles in each window and on the screen porch. We had SEVEN pumpkins scary and happy - it was really a lot of fun. Unfortunately we didn't have as many trick or treaters as we would at our old neighborhood in California, but I think Brian will take care of all the left over candy - he should be done sometime around Christmas.

The change of season is pretty obvious now. I have to use an ice scraper on my car in the morning and I heard Brian talking on the phone to his mom the other day "Yeah, yesterday morning it was well below freezing." I said, "no it wasn't" he replied, "Yes it was 27 degrees!" - Soon he'll realize that it will get much, much more below freezing than that...He has long underwear...he'll be fine :)

143

Brian and I got into a bickering match yesterday morning before I left for work…it was about curtains. As soon as I walked out the door, I think we both realized how dumb it was. While I was gone Brian primered the landing to the basement where he has been re-storing the walls. He put  paper down as a drop cloth – I came home and this was what I saw.

It made me smile – I especially like that the heart has a buzz cut.

This morning he and Mary were still sleeping when I left -  I made this sign for him to see when he walked in the kitchen.

143 means “I love you” – it is the number of letters in each word. My grandparents used to use this a lot, their license plate was the Roman Numeral version “I IV III”. Brian and I sign off a lot of notes or text messages as 143, he has a money clip with it engraved in it, too...somewhere.

I shared this with a friend of mine several years ago and she snickered and said “Well it’s the same numbers in “I Hate You” too.” Well, maybe in your family it means “I hate you” but in mine, it means “I love you.”

8 Months!

8 months ago today, Dr. Cole put the cutest, tiniest little baby on my chest. It's amazing how far we have come in 8 months, it's exciting to think what the next 8 will bring. I'm so proud, I feel like I should be wearing a button with Mary's picture on it.

Brian took the picture above when they were at the park. he took it on his phone and sent it to me while I was at work - I love how she seems so laid back here, just chilin', watching the other kids play. I am told she loves to swing, but I haven't been able to see it yet in person. During the week I get to see her for about a half hour in the morning when we get to nurse and for about an hour at night before she goes to bed. During the day Brian is such an amazing Daddy - I hear all the stories of the games they play and how they "swim" around the house. When I come home she has a big smile for me and she reaches out so I'll hold her - I love that. So all trips to the park are missed, but thank goodness I get to see what she is doing during the day via phone technology. I remember thinking how dumb it was to have a camera on a phone when it first came out...now I get it!

I love you Mary!

My Life In A Box

I spent weeks collecting boxes, thank goodness for the warehouse where I used to work – lots of nice small uniform boxes, so I could put my life in a box.  It was slow going at first, almost as if I was in denial, but then Brian moved the process along. "I want everything packed and we can live off of a plate, a fork, a knife, and a towel - that's all we need." Oh really, then why are we keeping all this other stuff?

Brian and his brother were leaving in the truck on the 13^th, Mary and I were on a plane on the 14^th. The 12^th the best friends on the planet came over in droves – many hands made for light lifting. My life in boxes were put into a big box truck. It made me jealous of my brother who recently minimized his life down to five large Tupperware containers – of course he doesn’t have a 7 month old – the smaller the person, the more the stuff. The night of the 12^th, our home was completely packed and we went out to In-n-Out burger and went up to the cross to watch the sunset and came home to make a little camp on the floor of our living room. Brian made a fire, we had a glass of wine…it was actually kind of romantic.

The next day. My life drove away in a box…looking a little like Sanford and Son.

Mary and I were left in an empty house.

 When we moved into this house we were just an engaged couple – and we moved out as a family. I could tell Mary knew something was up. Just a babe, but she gave me looks as if to say “Where are my toys? Where’s my Daddy? Why can’t I watch Wonder Pets?” Dear friend Nadean, took in this homeless mother and baby for the night. And dear friend Sheryl and Michael drove us to the airport the next day. Bittersweet to leave such amazing people.

Mary was the perfect child on the flight and slept for 1.5 hours. Super-Mary flies again!

The morning after we arrived, and 41 hours after they left Ventura, my life in a box pulled up to our new house…two tired, stinky and (understandably) grumpy men had driven straight through from California. Not recommended.

We are home.

We are still in a box

Current Day: The important rooms are set up; kitchen, family room, bedrooms. Still have a furniture-less living room and dining room – but it will come. Dear Friend Haig, set us up with free (really nice) rugs. Feels so good to come home to such amazing people.

I have been at my new job for 1.5 weeks and feel it is going to be a good fit. Brian has a new project daily around the house – yesterday, he and my dad ripped out our first wall and today he replaced the kitchen faucet and fixed the toilet…my man!

My parents have been such a huge help with Mary – how awesome to have built in, more-than-willing, (FREE) baby sitters. More updates to come - we already have started our remodeling scrap book and Mary is trying so hard to crawl, but she prefers to roll....that's my girl!

Love to all,
BRJ

"Kannehorah"



That is spelled phonetically – I couldn’t find it online. According to Nina, it is Yiddish for “Thank you, God”. Nina is my step-grandmother, but honestly, I knew her better than my biological grandmother. After a brain aneurism in the early 90’s, her memory was not all there so I’m not sure if “Kannehorah” is actually a Yiddish word or if she pieced together some phrases and words she remembers her mom saying.

Nina is the reason I moved to California. In 2002, I was here visiting when my grandfather unexpectedly passed away. I stayed with Nina and looked after her. I stayed in California to make a great career, meet a great man and have a beautiful baby - All because of Nina.

Before her current condition, she was the light in any room she walked into. She walked through life with a positive aura, and always had some sweet profound thing to say about any situation – good or bad. Common phrases for her were “Sweet Soul”, “Solid Citizen”, “This too shall pass” and “Kannehorah” followed by blowing a kiss to the heavens.

We were roommates for 10 months, she was 72, I was 27 – going to dinner, the symphony, the pool, to movies and we got along a lot better than you might think. We came to each other in a time of our lives that we needed just what the other had.

She had some quirks as well – before my grandfather died, we used to laugh at how he had “SAVE” written in large letters on newspapers, magazines, etc. I soon learned that he did this for good reason. Nina was a serial-tidy-upper and would go through the house, ‘fridge, everywhere picking up items she didn’t recognize and throwing them away. Soon I had “SAVE” written on my leftovers, books, laundry.

One time, I had an early job interview. I had all my clothes laid out and a clean white bra to wear under my starched white shirt. During the day, Nina came into my room to tidy, saw the bra, liked it, and took it so she could bring it to the store and tell the clerk she wanted one just like it. Cut to 6am the next day when I am tearing apart my room looking for my undergarment and pulling dirty clothes out of the hamper to wear over my only other black bra.

I went to visit Nina for the last time today. We move to Chicago in one week and she has had a series of strokes and her body is getting tired. While I was there, the Rabbi came – so I only got to stay for a few minutes. I’m not sure if she knew I was there, but I held her hand, and told her about Mary, about our new house, and how I have a good job where we are going (all things she would have asked). She was very peaceful, and looked quite comfy surrounded by pillows in her bed.

These were some of the most precious minutes of my life so far. Before I left, I kissed her hand and said “Kannehorah” – Thank you, Nina.

Brynn and Nina - September 6, 2011



Ruby Jane

So, why the blog. I always wanted to post one, as I have kept a journal since my 25^th birthday and this just seems like the way to go and a way to get my thoughts out that may just make someone chuckle a time or two. Now with Mary, there are so many people saying "send pictures, send pictures"…well, this is my way of doing that. I started rather half-heartedly when I was pregnant, but didn’t keep up. Then Mary was born and, well, it’s pretty easy to put this on the back burner.

Then, through one of my Mommy Groups, I heard about a family with a very sick baby girl. This mother was spilling her heart through beautiful photos and words on her blog called “Just for the Record” that really touched me. Ruby Jane was 7 months old and fighting for her life – she needed a liver transplant, but there was no luck in getting a new one. One post that struck me was how Ani, Ruby's Mom, missed her mundane life, How everything was hospitals and doctors and looking for donors. She missed when her big problem of the day was that her baby woke up every two hours - she longed for the days of running to Target with Radio Disney on in the car. Put my life in perspective and made me thankful for what I have.

Ruby lost her battle and went to heaven on August 12^th – the day Mary turned 6 months old. Ruby’s Mom had been posting for several years before Ruby was born, it was a family blog that held memories big and small. There just happen to be this one traumatic experience that caught the attention of many. Thousands of people have registered to be organ donors because of the encouragement of the family. The family started a foundation to educate about organ donation – they will be having a run on Ruby’s birthday and I plan to participate somehow from Chicago. Today Ruby would have been 8 months old -she may have had a short life, but she continues to touch so many people, including me.

With all of the changes going on in our lives, I think this blog may be a good outlet for me. I pledge to always have a positive spin in my postings, but I plan to put it all on here, the good, the bad because, that’s life.

Thanks Ruby and Thanks to her mom Ani.

Ruby Jane

Speed Blog - or - The Evolution of the Cheeks

This is me doing a little catch up from the last 6.5 months of little Mary’s life:

MONTH ONE:

- Elated – So in Love – Such a Beauty – Such a Sweet Baby – So tiny – Brian a great daddy – Up every 2 hours – Soooo Tired – Trying to put weight on Mary – Nursing, Nursing, Nursing – Did I mention Tired – 4 weeks gone in a blink - Every other time in my life that I thought I was tired, I was really just a big sissy – Brian working too much – he very stressed – feels he is missing out on time he will never get back.

MONTH TWO:

- Reality setting in – We MADE a HUMAN – My Mom and Dad come to visit – They want to sightsee all day, I want to sleep – Beginning to wonder what have we done – Colic sets in – Crying from 6p to midnight every night – More nursing, nursing, nursing – Putting on good weight! - Start going to Baby & Me classes, what an outlet! – Meet other mommies – realize I’m not crazy – Brian still working a lot – Good Days/Bad Days

MONTH THREE:

- Mary smiles – Even giggles a little – She starts to respond to us – I begin to enjoy being a mommy – Colic subsides – Chamomile tea is our savior - I begin to worry about going back to work – This is not enough time with my sweet girl – Will she ever know how much I worry about being away from her – Wish there were two of me, one for home, one for work – Postpone going back to work 5 more weeks – Best decision ever made – Auntie Cortney comes to visit – The closest I have ever felt to her – we live too far from each other

MONTH FOUR:

- Mary becoming quite the little lady – Personality to boot – Hawaiian Blessing at the Ventura Outrigger Race – Mary sleeps through the night! – I feel like a new woman - My company loses contract with Amgen – I’m out of a job at the end of the year – Instead, I am able to work a transfer to Chicago – Strange how planets align – Very exciting – Very Scary – I go back to work – Most traumatic day to date – somehow we both live – Caylin the nanny is sent from heaven – We love her and Mary LOVEs her. Life is good.

MONTH FIVE:

- Back at work with very flexible schedule – Feel truly blessed to have so many things going our way – Begin to worry something will go wrong – Snap out of it Brynn, enjoy the wave and ride it – Brian puts in his notice at work – 14 years with the same company, a lifetime in Ventura and he is leaving for me and Mary – Am I doing the right thing moving our family – Yes, people always talk about a new beginning we are DOING it – Mary so happy – So Fat – Such cute dimpled thighs – Smiles even when she is cranky – I think she feels bad about all that colic – gathering great stories to tell her Prom date.

MONTH SIX:

- Where has half a year gone? – My big girl – sits up like a champ – not into crawling, just rolling – Rolls like an egg around the living room and manages to get into dog toys and stuck in weird places – Caylin the nanny goes back to school – Nooooooo – Brian and I juggle Mary while trying to pack and I still get work done. Life is really good.